It’s hard to be self-sufficient. To put yourself into an island unto your own. To say that you were meant to be with others, but those others had their things, they weren’t able to carry what you had to.

You wanted to take a break.

To be seen.

To be heard.

To rest.

You really wanted to be there. and to show up.

But really there seemed to be no one and nowhere left for you.

Sometimes the giver feels like there is nothing left to give.

So what do we do then?

What are these epic life skills that we all need?

Well first, dearest-put the technology away. Yes, devices. anything that demands your attention but can afford to be ignored. Temporarily.

No phone. no problem.

Afford yourself the time to unplug, shutdown and breathe.

When you turn it on; will still be there, yes?

But give yourself the permission to breathe. Does that mean be on a beach or in a forest, sure, if you can. But sometimes it’s in the bathroom before bed. When your kids don’t need you.

Maybe it’s at home, without any demands that you just ignore the chores and sit to hear what your mind and your heart really need.

Life survival skills isn’t trying to manage an entourage of people, or little people.

Life skills is the moment by moment survival guide to life.

In a crappy marriage? You have to go home to nonsense and don’t even want to go home? You are not responsible for your spouse. Not their choices, not their actions. not their feelings and not their idiosyncrasies.

As a parent, your kids are exploding in public? Exhale, inhale, realize it’s not your problem, you just have to do damage control and move on. It’s not personal humiliation. it’s just kids with under developed brains, being emotionally reactive. You don’t have to rise to the occasion, in an emotionally reactive way.

In an awful work situation with co workers and it seems like you’re in a day care? You aren’t anyone’s emotional babysitter. Remember, no human can regulate another human.

We all face suffering.

Sometimes in the mundane.

Sometimes in massive porportions.

The truth is, if it’s coming, how can we be prepared for it?

What do we do with suffering?

As a mom of four kids, no drugs, giving birth to four humans.

Pain has a purpose.

Pain accomplished something.

There was no ignoring it.

There was only a healthy way of respecting it.

Of recognizing, a knowing.

To feel it, is to not be consumed by it.

It was a realization that pain came as a call to attention.

It wasn’t a death sentence.

It meant signs of life.

It mean that there was something else greater at work.

It wasn’t the end game.

Life skills survival part thrice?

Pain is not a reason to give up.

Pain is not a life sentence.

Pain can be a teacher.

Pain isn’t the end.

To be continued…