Being “triggered” has become a catchy buzzword in our society, one that has taken on several different meanings over time but to some has become an excuse or a justification. It’s honestly a word hijacking and a realization that people today are refusing to embrace the truth and are walking around like a loaded gun?

No one can trigger us, unless we are walking around fully loaded, with the safety off and ready to fire.

Honestly to give so much of our personal autonomy and power over to another individual that who is most likely filled with their own issues, this shows a gravitation toward victimization rather than personal responsibility.

Instead of it serving the purpose of a healing point, it is instead a reason to emote and live in a perpetual cycle of unhealed wounds. Almost to relinquish free will and instead say it is all the fault of another. This sounds very familiar to the story of Adam and Eve.

For more in depth info into this:

https://www.gotquestions.org/why-does-God-ask-questions.html

Knowing full well, what happened, God the creator of Adam and Eve, asked what had happened. Adam blamed Eve; :”It was the woman you gave me.”.

Honestly, now, the blame game is only played by the emotional immature, wounded soul that ignores truth and despises change. Because to admit that we aren’t responsible for how we feel, is to try to change the narrative and say we are innocent and that our feelings aren’t the reason for the problem, it is that we were “triggered” by someone else, they are the wrong doers. The truth is, mankind has a history of playing the blame game, this is usually a great indicator of a red flag in another person.

Thus begs the question, why are walking around ready to explode or implode? And do people really have unlimited access to our “trigger” and they can pull it anytime?

This is a probing question to shed light on the difference between healing and remaining unhealed intentionally.

No one is responsible for our feelings but us. But we can everyday, get up, in our raw and real state and cry out to Jesus. “I need you.”

In discussing triggers, we have to understand with insight, what it is that is boiling beneath the service.

“We have the most access to mental health now more than ever and we are the sickest we’ve ever been.” -N.W, 2026.

Just self-reflection alone, is not going to equate to healing.

The brain on trauma manifests into an entire lifestyle that must exist around the epicenter of the bomb that went off in our lives. Take for instance, the way abandonment forms behaviors out of the wound of being left behind.

Side note: Trauma isn’t just a series of unfortunate events or a situation, it is how the person responded to what happened and how they felt inside of that. Example: It is not just the accident, it was the wound sustained from it. What is the wound? Some endure war and walk away unscathed, some never leave the war even when it’s over.

What does it say, when a people aren’t capable of loving us, not because they didn’t want to, but because they were suffering?

This is not a justification but a realization that some people, take parents for instance, became that when they weren’t ready, they weren’t healed. They had no tools. No know how, no wisdom.

From early childhood into adulthood, the effects of abandonment follow us as if it were our own shadow.

There is no need to sugar coat the absolute decimation it has on a young soul that knows this version of “love” and aren’t shown what it is supposed to be from their very broken caregiver.

Trauma can beget trauma.

For example: unhealed parents that bring their issues into parenting and drag their children through the mess they never asked for and are too young to carry such a heavy burden.

I encourage anyone reading this that is a parent, or wants to be one day: Work on your healing as if it were a life or death situation, as it truly can bring life or death to the relationships around you; one hurt generation hurting another and the cycle continues.

Some of us end up being generational curse breakers. The grandparent that was abusive, the father that was, the daughter that was abused but will never abuse her children.

Children end up being a causality in their parents war far too often.

In the simplest of terms, abandonment translates to unworthiness and being unloved for the child, even the knee jerk reaction to blame themselves.

The reality of what happens to the brain on trauma can be easily communicated into fear. Fear that since the worst has already happened, history most likely will repeat itself.

It is almost like a superstition, that because of who the person is and the rejection from the parent was so devastating, that they essentially believe, the have an invisible target that is seen by the universe somehow and that they will once again, experiences that devastation once more. That it will surface into any relationship where they are told they are “loved.”

Doubt about being loved feels concrete, immovable somehow.

Odd how the most negative core beliefs, even if they aren’t true, can weld themselves into the very fiber of the being.

How it seems that no amount of convincing can undo the brainwashing that seemed to take only moments to solidify. But to be told that they are loved, that sounds like a lie.

Because the ones that said they loved, lied when they abandoned ship. There was nothing they came back for and the person interpreted that as their own worthlessness. As if they were left to tend to their own salvage yard from the wreckage of the USS Caregiver.

Abandonment changes the nature of every relationship. There is a questioning, rooted in fear:

How long before they leave me?
How long before they see the real me and choose to leave?
What if they wound my already wounded soul?
Will I ever heal from this?
Why can’t I be like everyone else and have real loving relationships?
Why do I feel like my brain can’t stop doubting that I’m loved?
What’s wrong with me?

Even all the way into adulthood and into marriage, there is a chronic fear of being abandoned. This can be kept silent, hidden in the darkness, that presents itself as avoidant attachment. Even though married, the struggle is to attach and to believe in the attachment.

Cynicism accompanies this as the belief that anyone can leave you because the most important person has. So don’t get too attached because they always have one foot out the door. They may even have a thick enough wall erected that says if they are abandoned again it won’t matter and they won’t be destroyed by it as they had been before.

It may also show up in emotional overreaction to the demand for constant reassurance that exhausts the other person to the point of madness as it seems nothing they say convinces their partner that they are committed for the long haul.

It is usually the unhealed wound talking for all those years before, asking for an answer from the past person that wounded them, unfinished business that no new person can speak for.

The people that really love us cannot heal the wounds of the people that betrayed us, it is unhealthy and unacceptable to make people pay for what someone else has done.

Even in friendships there is a splinter in the brain that has the nagging persistence to say that even though they say they care, they won’t stick around. Even on a deeper level there is the fear that if things appear to be going well its only a matter of time until they go south and they will be alone again.

Abandonment hums consistently under the radar, always a possibility to maintain hypervigilance.

Trauma for most that are trying to survive are trying to keep the volume on 5 when it feels that it is always on the verge of being cranked to 10.

The brain on trauma has commonalities and symptoms that can be defined on just about any website we have access to today. Now more than ever people are exploring the topic. As opposed to the “shell shock” our grandfathers had from wars they fought in. It was treated much like a physical disease or a fact, you just lived with it. Now we have pendulum swung toward the oversaturation of information and overexposure to what we have been conditioned to call “our truth.”

Complex PTSD isn’t exclusive, it is really a person who experiences extended trauma with seemingly no end in sight. And even when they leave that situation they continue to suffer.

Very simply put, obviously not a simple process; but healing takes the willingness to identify the brain on trauma. Meaning what behaviors, what actions do we take from those behaviors?

What core beliefs have we accepted and live out of?

What symptoms do we have of a deeper pain? Are we addicted to anything in an effort to self medicate?

Addiction “serves while it destroys” but it’s about our relationship to what we are addicted to. Healthy, happy and whole doesn’t constitute the need to bow to addiction. So what is it? What are we trying to hide, control or live with that would beckon us into addiction?

The healing process isn’t limited to identifying “triggers” alone, it is instead, why are we being triggered and what is triggered? What is happening to us as a whole?

Psychology addresses the mind, the brain. But what about the heart and the soul too? We aren’t limited to just being a victim of our circumstances and our past.

The brain on trauma is usually filled with the worst information that was received out of neuropathways that fired into new areas forming information superhighways that essentially rewired the brain to become hyper-alert. Anxiety and fear can be helpful in order to protect us but not when it is a daily event, every moment, a state of being and there is seemingly nothing else outside of it. Always scanning for threats, in relationships, in day to day living. It is the watchman always at his post. It is feeling of the invisible whip cracking behind us. It is the worry and the fear that at any moment catastrophe will strike.

This is not what God has for any of us.

I heard once when it comes to prayer: God will always answer with: “Yes”, “No” or “Not yet.” I say this to encourage anyone that has been praying, as I have: “God take this from me.” And He hasn’t yet, don’t give up. God honors persistent prayer. He hears everyone, counts every tear and He sees you.

I’ve noticed people that refuse to involve God in their belief system and rely solely upon psychology. There are several psychological explanations and doctrines that carry on, that circulate social media but, ultimately the ‘gurus’ out there that where wooden bead necklace and bracelets that seem to be the primary authority on everything, well if you leave out the bible they really they aren’t. You can’t behave as top authority without being underneath the true authority. And to whom to these people answer to and how do we know they are right?

In psychology there is always an “answer” there is a “reasoning” there is a “this is the absolute truth, so take my word for it.” Even if it sounds true, it doesn’t mean, it is true.

And the worst part about what psychology boasts is that it “sounds true, so it is true.”

THIS IS NOT TRUE.

The Bible is so wonderful not only because it is the best mental health help, without religion, it’s straight up fact. The truth is that even with a psychology degree, the Bible is way better than any text book I have ever read.

I spent years researching the DSM (all the versions) all the theories and all the ideas. Ultimately they are incomplete. Theories can’t possibly be what we base our lives upon.

To be “triggered” means we need healing. And to whom can provide healing?

As a counselor, I can’t heal or fix anyone. But I know who can. My Jesus is the healer that I have seen Him supernaturally set people free. There were sessions that we sat together, my clients and I. I listened, I reflected but I couldn’t take away what had been done. I offered scripture, spoke truth, we prayed, through presence and patience I saw the breakthroughs. I feel that counseling is much like being a safe place for someone who never had one and providing an atmosphere of hope in order to make way for the Holy Spirit to work with the beautiful soul before me and see them finally get lead through the darkness and into the light.

Triggers are much like symptoms, they aren’t the problem. The wounds that we sustained can be healing. We don’t have to stay the same and suffer indefinitely. If we find ourselves being triggered that just means that beneath the surface are areas we are holding onto, areas that need attention and we haven’t healed yet. Heal the wound, lose the trigger. People can’t heal like God can.

Our society chases status, fitness, wealth and attention. But the ultimate goal should be to be whole.

People cannot make us complete or whole, especially if they are broken. We are created beings from one creator, that knows us by name. He knows our story, who we really are. There is no need for us to chase public acceptance when we already are accepted by Christ.

We are all in need of the governing of a loving and kind God. But when we don’t pursue Him we try to fill the role, in essence trying to become our own God. And the result is often a person stricken with worry, burdened with pain and feeling empty. To rely on God, I grew up hearing “religion is just a crutch”, well this would admit brokenness rather than weakness. But the saying hung around as a bitter diatribe as if to be harsh toward anyone who believed in Jesus. To submit and bow to authority is meekness, not weakness. The bible doesn’t encourage us to be religious, in fact Jesus discouraged it as it often results in emptiness. The Bible “is just a bunch of rules and regulations, too many restrictions.” is another cliche that was tossed about from a godless sort that don’t want morals, values or ethics beyond a self-centered man made doctrine. Even in recovery I found the vast majority of people that decided to stop, it was never soberiety that they were chasing, it was a void they were trying to fill and ultimately they wanted to feel “normal”, “happy” and at peace. Even if it doesn’t add up, alcoholism is trying to drown out the noise of loneliness, of need.

We have built in needs as human beings, tracing all the way back to God creating the world specifically for man, Adam even said, after an indefinite amount of time in a perfect world with God and found himself to be lonely. We need relationship and we need the Lord. To do without both often attributes to the problems we have today.

In the study of addiction the current information conflicts. Some call it a disease, others a lack of dopamine. Some blame it on moral degradation. Each person must answer for themselves as to why they choose addiction. But a truly happy, healthy and whole person never chooses addiction as a means to an end to feel good. Addiction is the symptom of an internal problem, so what is the problem?

If we live with triggers, we live with a wound. Heal the wound lose the trigger.

Don’t give up on this life. The hope that’s available to stop walking the pain treadmill and arriving at nowhere, there is hope.

Emmanuel means “God with us.” No matter what. If you have never encountered Jesus, you can meet Him anywhere as He is with us everywhere. You needn’t even be in church or around other believers to start that conversation.

It can begin just very simply: “Lord I need you.”

“If you declare with your mouth “Jesus is Lord”, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified; and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.” Romans 10:9-10

“For anyone who calls upon the name of the Lord will be saved.” Romans 10:13

No fanfare or audience on earth needed, as the one in heaven rejoices. Right where you are, start talking to Him and ask Him for all the things that your soul needs. Healing, freedom, grace, mercy, comfort, love, acceptance-He has all of it.

No matter the wounds, the healing can happen.

God bless you as you read this, may your heart and soul be at peace.